Questions and Answers
The ASKK service (Advancing Services for Kingston Kids) are the team of professionals responsible for responding to the Ask 4 Help emails sent in by you.
We get a range of emails each week from young people requesting further information on a variety of concerns on issues including sexual health, sexuality, drugs, self-harm and more.
Here are some of the questions we've received and the answers:
Divorce and Self-Harm
Q: My parents are fighting and getting a divorce. It's affecting me and my little brother and sister, who are upset and confused. I feel depressed and like there's nothing I can do and no one to talk to. I'm harming myself because of this and it makes me feel better for a while.
A: Try and talk to someone about this. It may be difficult to talk to your parents but perhaps you could try another trusted adult like a member of your family?
You could also contact Magic Roundabout, a service dedicated to providing free confidential advice and counselling to young people aged 12 to 20. They will talk to you about how you feel and offer you ongoing support. Their details are as follows, it's possible to either write, phone or drop in.
Magic Roundabout
23 Richmond Road
Kingston KT2 5BW
Tel: 020 8974 9252.
Also, have a look at these websites:
Related External Links:
Remember, even though your parents are arguing and are going through a divorce, they still love you and would be upset to know that you're upset and to see how this is affecting you.
Drugs and Peer Pressure
Q: Most of my friends do coke at the weekend and say I should do it. Is it dangerous and what will it do to me?
A: Any drug can be dangerous and can cause harm including death. This includes alcohol, cigarettes and some prescription drugs if not taken properly.
Cocaine can make you feel happy whilst you take the drug, but can cause you to feel very sad when you stop. This is why some people cannot and no not want to stop. Cocaine is expensive and sometimes people get into trouble trying to find money to use it, ending up with a criminal record. If you use cocaine you risk going to prison. Is this a chance you want to take?
It may be helpful to talk to a drugs worker or perhaps telephone the FRANK helpline on 0800 77 66 00. This call is free.
Sex and Viriginity
Q: The first time I had sex with my boyfriend was when I was 16 and I didn't bleed. Is there anything wrong with me? Am I still a virgin?
A: Don't worry, this is perfectly normal. Some people bleed after they have sex for the first time and other people don't.
Losing your virginity just means that you have had sexual intercourse with someone, so it doesn't make a difference whether you bled afterwards or not. Remember though that if you have unprotected sex that you will be placing yourself at risk of pregnancy or infection.
If you want to discuss any of these issues then go and see one of the nurses at a young people's sexual health clinic near you.
Shyness
Q: I'm 15 and I will be 16 in February. I will be in my last year at school and I'm not confident at all. I hate talking to new people because I get embarrassed and then just do not talk. Everyone I know says I need to get more confident and not be as shy at school. I just sit at the back. I have got some friends but not a lot because I am so shy. What can I do to get more confident?
A: Be assured that many people feel as you do and you are not alone in the way you feel. Of your friends, is there one you can confide in? You may be surprised at how much this might help you. It always helps to talk to someone. If you don't feel able to talk to a friend, then a member of your family that you feel close to could help you through this difficult time.
Magic Roundabout may also be another good place to get free and confidential counselling.
Also see:
- Your Sex Questions
If you've got questions about sex, take a look at our Sex Questions page. - Ku19 Clinics
Find your nearest young people's sexual health clinic. - Commonly Used Drugs
Learn more about the effects of Cocaine.