Sex and Relationships

Girl facing a boy SEX! Now that we've got your attention, you might as well stick around for a bit and take a look at some of the stuff in this section. Growing up and forming relationships with people is a part of life and sex is something that will become increasingly relevant to you as you mature into an adult. It's nothing embarrassing to want to know more about.

What is sex?

Just what exactly does 'doing it' mean? The primary function of sexual intercourse (being the fancy term for it) is as the method of reproduction of the human species - in other words, it’s what people do to have babies. But people also choose to have sex for pleasure or as an expression of love and intimacy.

Sex for the first time

The decision to have sex for the first time is a huge one - and only you know if you're ready to have sex with someone. It's one of those things which you'll remember for the rest of your life, so you wouldn't want to regret it later. There are a couple of things which you should really consider, including being aware of the risks and responsibilities that go with having sex.

Pregnancy - unless you use a form of birth control (also known as contraception) every time you have sex, you will risk becoming pregnant (or getting your girlfriend pregnant if you are a boy). Most teenagers do not feel ready to have a baby.
Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) - you don't know who else might be carrying a sexually transmitted infection (STI). These are infections you can catch from someone by having sex with them (or even just close intimate contact in some cases). Examples of STIs include chlamydia, genital warts, syphilis and HIV. Some of these cannot be cured and can seriously harm your health. That means it's vital that you have safe sex every time - this is where you use a method of protecting yourself from STIs, such as using condoms.
Legal age of consent - this is the age when the law says you're old enough to have sex and can make a responsible decision about it. You and the person you have sex with must both be 16 years or over, or it's against the law. Someone over the age of consent having sex with someone underage is a crime called statutory rape, which can lead to a jail sentence.
No pressure! Nobody should be putting pressure on you to have sex - don't do it just because you think all of your friends are doing it or because your boyfriend/girlfriend wants to. The decision is in your control.

Alternatives to sex

If you feel that you are not ready to have sex yet, it's totally OK. You should not have sex if you feel uncomfortable about it. Other things you can do instead of having sex include:

Kissing - You must know what this is, surely? It's when you use your lips to touch or caress as an expression of affection.
Petting/stroking or cuddling - you can show your affection for someone by simple hugging or fondling.
Masturbation - this is when you stimulate yourself for feelings of sexual pleasure.

More information

If you want to know more about sex in order to help you make the right choices, or even if you are just curious, you can find more info from these sources:

Young people's sexual health clinics
GUM (Genito-Urinary Medicine) clincs
Your doctor or school nurse.

Also see:

Ku19 Clinics
Tel: 020 8549 6323
Text: 07781 488 019
Email: ku19@kpct.nhs.uk
Kingston's health service for under 19s. Drop in at one of the Ku19 clinics in the Borough or call, text or email for health advice and info on sex, contraception, pregancy and chlamydia testing.