Missing Someone
Have you lost someone close to you? If someone close to you dies or disappears from your life, like a member of your family or a friend, it can be really hard. It's normal to feel strong emotions like shock, sadness, anger, guilt, fear or depression. Everyone reacts differently and when you feel like this it means you're grieving or going through grief.
Feelings like this can also happen when you don't get to see someone you care about any more (they don't have to have died). Perhaps your best friend has moved away; you've broken up with your boyfriend/girlfriend; or your parents have split up and you don't see one of them any more. Even your favourite pet getting lost or dying can make you feel upset and very alone.
When you feel really sad, you might wonder if you can ever feel happy again. Don't worry - after a while it'll feel a little less painful. Just give yourself enough time.
Experiencing grief of loss
When you are missing someone, it's normal to feel these things:
- Having trouble sleeping, eating or concentrating at school.
- Going off things that you normally enjoy.
- Pretending that you feel OK, even if you don't because you want to be 'strong' for people around you.
Dealing with loss
You can get through grief with enough time. Be aware of the following advice:
- Don't bottle things up. It usually helps to talk about how you're feeling with another person - either with a friend or a counsellor.
- Alcohol and drugs: You might feel that alcohol or drugs could help you feel better. But they won't help you get any happier.
- Self-harm: If you feel you want to harm yourself or even kill youself, it's really important to tell someone so they can help you, like a parent/carer or friend.
If you know someone that's missing someone, then you can help by:
- Offering support: Some people don't know what to say to a friend when they've lost someone, and so they just steer clear. But let them know you're there for them.
- Enjoy normal activities: Your friend might want to do 'normal' things with you to make them feel better.
More information
The following sites and organisations have more information and advice about grief, loss and bereavement.
Also see:
- Saying Goodbye Project
Part of Kingston Bereavment Service, the Saying Goodbye Project helps children and young people through bereavement.
Related External Links:
- RD4U
Tel: 0808 808 1677
RD4U means the 'road for you'. It's a site designed for young people by young people to offer support after the death of someone close. - The Child Bereavement Trust
The Child Bereavement Trust's philosophy is based on learning from children who have experienced the death of their mother or father, brother or sister. - It's Not Your Fault
Find out how to cope if your parents are going through a divorce. - Jigsaw4U
Jigsaw4U is a child centred charity. It's aim is to empower children and young people, as well as their families, to develop strategies for coping with loss and trauma. - Winston's Wish
Winston's Wish helps bereaved children and young people rebuild their lives after a family death, offering practical support and guidance to families, professionals and anyone concerned about a grieving child.